KoaNitro copyHello, everyone, and welcome back to Kick Out At Nitro!  I apologize for the fact I’m a few weeks late on these posts, but we’re in the swing of Stanley Cup Playoff and my Tampa Bay Lightning are fighting against Derick’s Detroit Red Wings, so I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and post.  That being said, we’re here now, so let’s get into this thing!

We’re coming off of WCW Uncensored and quite possibly the dumbest cage match that I’ve ever witnessed.  It was just a hair more organized than TNA’s Clockwork Orange House of Pain match that featured Raven and ICP…which currently rates as my “worst match ever seen.”  Seriously, track the thing down…it was a train wreck.

This episode comes to us live from Hunstville, AL.  The announcers hype up the Flair VS Giant match tonight for the WCW World Championship.  Very interesting heel VS heel match for the main title.  They speculate as to whether Flair is 100% after being popped by Luger in the Doomsday Cage match.  Bischoff hypes up the card and kicks us off to our first match.

Match #1: The Belfast Bruiser VS “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Bischoff puts over Finlay messing up Regal’s face last night.  That match was stiff as all get out and I would definitely say to go back and check it out.

During Savage’s entrance, Bischoff puts over Hogan for winning last night, despite the fact that it was Savage who got the pinfall after Hogan seemingly forgot he was supposed to pin to win the match.

Finlay starts this match off in the driver’s seat, wrestling Savage and taking him down and keeping him grounded.  He lights the announcers and crowd up when he starts nailing Savage with European uppercuts; the same ones that messed up Regal’s face, it seems.  Savage gets some fire, though, and turns the tides, but just momentarily as Finlay takes control on the outside, dropping Savage jaw first into the guard rail before clotheslining him over it and into the crowd.

Back in the ring, Finlay hits a nice short-arm clothesline and Savage starts to fire back with rights to the midsection.  Finlay charges into Savage in the corner, but Savage moves and Finlay eats turnbuckle.  Savage climbs to the top and comes off with the flying elbow drop for the win.

Winner: “Macho Man” Randy Savage

I like how Savage can take a beating and then seemingly pull the elbow drop out of nowhere.  It really puts over the move as devastating.

With that, we go to commercial and our Up Next graphic of Konnan VS  JL.

The show comes back to Mean Gene at the entry way as he calls out WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Ric Flair.  Flair comes out with Woman and Elizabeth.  It’s interesting…in WWF, Elizabeth was the princess…but now, Woman dresses in the more sophisticated attire and Elizabeth dresses more likea cocktail waitress.

For some reason, Liz has a stack of cash in her hand.

Flair says he’s going to beat the Giant and then starts singing “I’ve got the whole world in my hands.”  Gene brings up Luger punching Flair last night, calling it intentional.  Flair says over the last few months he’s been flying so high that he hasn’t even been paying attention to Luger.  He says that Luger is a guy that wants to be where Flair is…then he tells Gene to stop staring at Woman.  Flair says that due to Lex’s error in judgement, he joins the list of people who can’t style and profile with the Nature Boy.  Flair asks Liz who is the bigger man, him or Lex.  She says Flair.  He asks Woman who has the better body.  She says Flair.  Mean Gene agrees.

Match #2: WCW United States Championship – JL VS Konnan (Champion)

During the entrances, Bischoff says that last night, Brian Pillman called in and said that he didn’t want anything to do with Kevin Sullivan.  He didn’t want to be on his team in the main event, so he just didn’t show.

JL starts quickly, taking down Konnan with a quick head scissors and sends him to the floor.  Konnan and JL run through some armdrag spots before Konnan gets the upper hand.

Bischoff tells us that backstage they’re getting word that Savage is going ballistic and trying to attack Ric Flair.  Stuff like this is super easy to do since there’s nothing to actually show the crowd and you can get the issue over without having to even show anything, but it all depends on whether they mention it again.  Flair has Giant tonight, so if they simply never mention this again, it was a useless thing to throw out there.

JL goes for a crashing ocean suplex but Konnan armdrags him out of it.  JL follows with a reverse sunset flip but Konnan lifts him up, trying for a front facebuster from a lifting double chickenwing, but Konnan armdrags JL back out of that.  Konnan goes for a hip toss but it’s blocked, so he gutwrenches JL into a nasty looking powerbomb for two.

We’re told that next week we get Hulk Hogan and Booty Man in a tag team match.  Ugh.

Body slam by Konnan, who then goes up top and is brought off with a nasty DDT from JL.  JL covers with Konnan under the ropes like crazy, then gives a slow count that gets the announcers all riled up.  See, it wasn’t just when the nWo showed up…he’s always been terrible.  Konnan Alabama-Slams JL off the top rope for the win.

Winner: Konnan

They go to break and come back with…

Match #3: Disco Inferno VS The Booty Man

Disco comes out pitching his CD and wearing DDP’s big gawdy diamond D-D-P rings.  Apparently Page had to pawn them so he got them cheap.

“The crowd really reacting to The Booty Man!” – Eric Bischoff.  Um, no…no, they’re not, sir.

Man…can I NOT watch this one?  I’m all for completion and whatnot, but damn…

Kim comes out.  At least this is watchable.  Brutus sits on the bottom rope and calls for Kim to slap him on the ass.  She does, Brutus sells it and gets the win with the High Knee.  After the win, Booty Man gets a big kiss again, much to my chagrin.

Winner: The Booty Man

Seriously, though, it’s bad enough that Kim and Brutus have ZERO chemistry…but he gets to make out with my first wrestling love?!  Not cool.

We go to break and come back to our Saturday Night rundown.  I love that they do this.  At a time when we’re supposed to believe that Raw is kayfabe “booked” every week with no discernable main event until the first 20 minutes of the show happen, I like having things actually given to us and being able to know what matches are coming up.  It’s comforting and, again, makes this seem more like a legit sporting event.  Anyway, on the Muthaship on Saturday Night we’ll be getting Luger and Shark for the TV title, Sting vs Malenko.  We’ll see Flair.  We’ll see Earl Robert Eaton vs the Belfast Bruiser as well as The Giant VS Big Bubba Rogers.

Match #4: WCW World Tag Team Championship – The American Males VS Sting & Lex Luger (Champions)

Bischoff says that this summer Bagwell will get a movie opportunity and transition to Hollywood.  I don’t remember what movie this is supposed to have been.  I wonder if they’ll bring it back up.

Heenan tells us that Sting brought Bagwell into WCW.  Didn’t Sting also bring Johnny B Badd in, according to our announcers?

Luger is in full babyface, hand-slapping mode…as long as Sting is looking at him.  Whenever Sting turns his back, Luger has a scowl and doesn’t mess with the crowd.  Man, I love this Luger.

We go to commercial for the WCW Magazine, pitching us a Road Warriors story, a story about Luger and Sting, and coverage of Clash of the Champions.

Luger starts the match off and when he gets a little too physical, Sting talks him down.  Bagwell goes after Luger, who tags out to Sting.  Sting and Bagwell go at it, Sting getting the better of it, getting a few big slams in.  Bagwell concedes and tags out to Riggs.

I just realized this is going to be a five match Nitro!  Those don’t happen often.  I think this may be only the second one.  I’ll have to look that up.  Expect a footnote here when the book copy comes out.  Those are the things you can expect when you get the physical copies of Kick Out at Nitro…I actually take my time and follow up on my research!  Can’t get that for free!

Sting tags out to Riggs, who tags back out to Bagwell, and Luger goes off!  Luger starts beating on Bagwell, kicking him and stomping him and hammering elbows into him.  Sting looks on in concern as our announcers have spent a ton of time building up the Sting/Bagwell relationship.  Luger tags out, Sting beats down Riggs for a bit.  Sting gets a pin, Luger comes in, Bagwell takes out Luger and Sting gets the win with a cross body block.

Winners: Sting and Lex Luger (still Tag Team Champions)

After the match, Luger grabs the tag belts and start celebrating.  Sting yells at Luger and tells him to give him HIS belt.  Sting has to wrench it from Luger’s grasp, but he gets a hold of it and celebrates with the American Males.

We go to break and see the Up Next graphic for Giant and Flair.  Bischoff says “you know Hogan is watching this one!”  Hogan has reached full Poochie status here.  If he’s not on the screen, the other characters are asking “hey, where’s Hogan!?”

Match #5: WCW World Heavyweight Championship – The Giant w/ Jimmy Hart VS “Nature Boy” Ric Flair w/ Woman & Ms. Elizabeth (WCW World Champion)

As Flair comes to the ring, Woman and Liz start giving Savage’s money out to the crowd.  Savage comes out, going crazy, and security restrains him and removes him from the entry way.

Bischoff shouts out someone for having a Nitro Party!  I remember those!  Never got to go to one, but I remember when they were a thing.

Bischoff creams his jeans again over Hogan showing up next week.

Flair starts the match off in Giant’s face.  Giant shoves him across the ring and Flair heads to the floor to gather his thoughts.

Bischoff says that Savage is in handcuffs and has been ejected from the arena.

Flair hits the ropes and shoulder blocks Giant twice, hitting the mat hard both times.  After the second one he stands up and give Giant a big chop, which Giant no-sells, and then Giant press slams him over his head.  Giant gives him a second one for good measure.

Eric says that Flair defeated a “much larger man” in Vader.  Is Vader really “much larger?”  I think it may be a wash.  Vader is more massive, but Giant is being billed at 500 lbs, which is more than I think Vader was being billed at.  Since Vader definitely wasn’t 7’4”, how is Vader a much larger man than Giant?

Flair tires to make a run for it but Giant bring him back to the ring and gives him a BIG vertical suplex in the center of the ring.

Bischoff tells us that on August 11th, we’ll be getting a first…WCW Hog Wild, live from Sturgis, SD!  This was my first wrestling PPV that I ever purchased.  My brother and I used our allowance and I used money from mowing grass that was being saved for a Playstation to get that event.  Pretty excited to see it again when we get to it in 4 months.

Giant comes off the top rope, which is ALWAYS a crazy feat.  Giant goes for a splash but Flair moves and Giant takes a nasty spill over the top rope.  Woman sends Flair a piece of steel cable.  He chokes Giant with it a few times, including one bending him backwards over the top rope.  Flair follows it with double thumbs to the eyes, taking Giant down to his knees.  On his knees, Giant is only about eight inches shorter than Flair.  Flair tees off on Giant with rights and lefts, but Giant keeps slugging him off.  Flair backs up and soccer kicks Giant in the junk, finally taking him down.

Flair distracts the ref and Woman attacks Giant with the steel cord, choking him. Flair tries to seize the opportunity and goes up top, but that NEVER works out for Ric Flair, so Giant tosses him off the top.  Giant goes for the choke slam and gets all of it.  In comes the ladies, trying to distract the ref.  Out comes Arn Anderson with a steelchair and cracks Giant in the back.  Kevin Sullivan comes out and grabs the chair from Arn, but Giant turns around and sees Sullivan with a chair.  Putting 2 and 2 together and getting octopus, Giant choke slams the ever loving crap out of Sullivan.  Anderson doubles over with laughter, prompting him to eat a choke slam as well.  The referee has lost all control so he calls for the bell.

Winner: No Contest

Next week, Anderson and Sullivan are teaming against Hogan and Booty Man, so how are they going to get along, asks Bobby Heenan.  Bischoff tells us ONCE AGAIN about Hogan coming next week and we go off the air.

 

I really thought Giant won the title on this show.  I know it happens sometime soon!  That’s the crazy thing about rewatching all of this stuff…I remember bits and pieces but my timeline is off on so many things.

Good stuff.  5 matches, all of which were pretty decent…except for that damn Booty Man and Disco match.  Booty Man really is pretty damn insufferable at this point.

Well, I guess we’ll have to wait until next week and see how all this turns out.  I don’t know how we’ll be able to contain ourselves with Hogan all over the place, though!  Thankfully, I won’t have to pull full duty on that one as we’ll be getting our first ever repeat guest host for the next episode when Phillip returns.

Until next time!

-Shane

—–

Ratings Breakdown

WWF Raw Ratings – 2.8

WCW Nitro Ratings – 3.1

(Raw – 10, Nitro – 14) (Tie Weeks – 2)

(Unopposed weeks – 4)

WWF’s longest Winning Streak (to this point) – 2

WCW’s longest Winning Streak (to this point) – 4

 

Officially 4 weeks in a row!  We’ve just extended the longest winning streak thus far in the Monday Night War!

—–—

WWF Raw results from this week

Shawn Michaels defeated Leif Cassidy (w/ Marty Jannetty) (11:14)

Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Aldo Montoya (4:42)

Ahmed Johnson defeated Owen Hart via disqualification (5:32)

 

Not a terrible night.  I’d actually like to go back and watch that HBK VS Al Snow match.  I may do that later tonight.  The rest of the card doesn’t look bad at all.  WCW got it, I think, with the big title matches and coming off of the PPV.  This actually sounds like a pretty decent Raw.

KoaUCHello wrestling fans and welcome to this special edition of Kick Out at Uncensored!  Tonight we’ll travel back in time to March 24th, 1996 (sorry for the late post) and find out if the Mega Powers have the ability to escape the combined wrath of the Dungeon of Doom and the Four Horsemen in the confines of the Doomsday Cage!  Tonight’s event comes to us from Tupelo, Mississippi, and we’re joined by our announce team; the usual suspects of Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes and Bobby Heenan.

Tony asks Bobby why he’s wearing a leather jacket and Bobby says it’s because he doesn’t want to ruin his suit…with leather, he can just wash any gore off of it.  Eddie Guerrero’s music starts up and the announcers kick us over to our first match.

Match #1: WCW United States Championship Match – Eddie Guerrero VS Konnan (Champion)

It looks like the Doomsday Cage is actually setup at the entrance in a completely separate cage.  The cage and scaffolding are basically the entrance here as both of our wrestlers walk past it to get into the match.

We’ve got the UnCensored logo adorning the mat.  I don’t remember seeing too many event names on the mats.  They usually just have the crosshairs WCW logo for PPVS.

This is the only title match we’re getting tonight, it seems.

Konnan starts the match off with a slow, methodical pace, which is more to Konnan’s strength.  Eddie is able to hang with him, though, so we see some good mat wrestling at the beginning, working to Eddie getting a Figure 4 locked on until Konnan hits the ropes, causing the clean break.

Konnan goes into a bit more mat wrestling and just looks sloppy as all get out through the entire exchange.  I know we’re not many matches into his WCW career, but I’m just not sold on Konnan yet.

The pace quickens and we get a nice series of arm drags from both men, allowing Konnan to finally start looking good.  Tempers get a bit heated in this exchange, though, resulting in Konnan slapping Eddie and Eddie returning the favor.

Tony tells us that JL had an upset victory over Dean Malenko in the first round of the Cruiserweight Championship match.  Nice of them to announce something like that was starting.  When did that happen, also?  Dark match?

Eddie tries a quick roll up victory but Konnan fights back and gives Eddie a little taste of his own medicine as he hits him with a Black Tiger Bomb.  Man, I love that move.  I wish Eddie would have used it a lot more, especially in WWE.

Eddie goes to the floor hard and Konnan goes for a suicide dive that’s more of a push as he just shoves Eddie into the guardrail gingerly.  Konnan tries to suplex him into the ring but Eddie reverses but it’s for naught as Konnan clotheslines him down.  Konnan covers but gets 2.  He goes up top but Eddie follows him up and hits a nice superplex.  He finally gets a cover but took too long as Konnan kicks out at 2.  Eddie tries again but gets the same result.

Eddie goes up top but Konnan tries to throw him off of the top rope a la Ric Flair, but Eddie holds on and rolls him into a small package for 2.  Konnan Irish whips Eddie to the ropes and Eddie tries to leapfrog him but Konnan grabs him and pulls himself down hard, headbutting Eddie in the junk, effectively.  The crowd boos, Tony tells us it’s a low blow, but Eddie rolls him up for the win.

Winner: Konnan (still WCW United States Champion)

After the match, Konnan tries to raise Eddie’s hand but Eddie shrugs him off, looking pissed.

Tony kicks us to Mean Gene, who is joined by Col. Robert Parker.  Gene tells us that we can chat with the wrestlers on CompuServe and we get a clip of The Giant online with fans.  I wish they’d have picked another wrestler for that.  Seeing The Giant surf the web kind of humanized him in a way I didn’t like.

Gene brings in Col. Parker and Dick Slater.  It looks like Parker is going to wrestle Madusa.  Parker says he’s going to fight for all of us and he’s going to beat down a woman for all of those of us out there who are too afraid to do it.  When did this storyline happen?  Last I remember, Parker was banging Madusa.  When did they start having trouble?

Anyway…

Match #2: Lord Steven Regal w/ Jeeves VS The Belfast Bruiser

imagesMullet & stache Finlay walks out and smacks Jeeves in the face for no good reason.  He gets in the ring and nails Regal with his jacket…half of which is a football shoulder pad.  These two start hard and fast and it’s pretty damn awesome.  Both of these guys have a mean streak a mile wide and it’s interesting to get to see it.

This match is a mix of holds and stomps and punches, honestly.  They’ll take each other down and hold onto an arm or the head and even those look more painful than you’re used to seeing.  These two guys are really working some old school holds but they’re adding that intensity and meanness into everything.

Finlay slams Regal and Tony exclaims “everything with definite force!”  That’s the best way that I can explain this match.  I know I’m not doing a lot of move-by-move calling on this match, and in some ways that’s because this is one of the harder ones I’ve tried to type up.  I think that’s because it’s mostly “Regal slams Finlay hard and grabs an arm bar…Finlay punches Regal, hard…”, so on and so forth.  Tony’s definitely right, though…this is a fight!

Finlay tries to grab a chair from the first row but they’re linked together so he has to abandon that idea.  Regal suplexes Finlay off of the ring apron to the floor and follows it with a running elbow drop.  Tony says that Regal is normally so prim and proper and tonight we’re seeing a different Regal but we’ve never seen him in a match like this.  Heenan says that it’s because they must know each other, have a history with each other, and their native lands are so close to each other…which causes Dusty to erupt in anger and talk about how they weren’t near each other.  Um…yeah, they are, Dusty.  That’s like saying Texas and Arkansas aren’t close to each other.

Out on the floor, Finlay punches Regal hard in the face and the next time we see Regal, he’s covered in blood.  Between that punch and the crack and the immediate blood, I believe Finlay broke Regal’s nose!

Finlay stomps Regal a few times and goes for a diving splash but Regal gets his legs up and just pushes Finlay over the top rope to the floor.  Regal grabs Finlay and runs him up the entrance ramp and slams him into the Doomsday cage.  Out come Robert Eaton and David Taylor and they start beating down Finlay, causing the DQ.  Um…I thought this was Uncensored…where everything was non-sanctioned and with no rules.  Guess not.

Winner: The Belfast Bruiser by Disqualification

I was just about to type that this match and the Guerrero/Konnan match were kind of disproving the point about Uncensored always being WCW’s worst event, but then this finish comes out and ruins the match.  This was such a hard hitting match that it shouldn’t have ended this way.

The announcers kick us back to Mean Gene, Jimmy Hart and The Giant.  I guess Giant got tired of talking to people on CompuServe.  Gene tells us that tomorrow Giant will wrestle Flair for the World Championship.  Man, they really just hand out title matches in this place.  Giant hasn’t even had a damn match since the Hogan match at SuperBrawl if I am remembering correctly.  What’s he done to get a title shot?  Also, so another Nitro title shot on free TV instead of on this PPV with some buildup?  Ugh!

There’s a really awkward transition where the announcers are talking about Robert Parker and Madusa and Tony randomly goes “Isn’t that right, Gene?”  Gene immediately appears on the TV and picks up the transition.  He didn’t fumble it, but he never randomly kicks to Gene like that.  There was no build up to it, no real kick off…just boom, there’s Gene.

Anyway, Gene brings in Loch Ness.  Remember, folks…Loch Ness was originally supposed to wrestle Hogan in the main event to this PPV.  Loch Ness cuts a terrible promo, showing us that all he has to him is the size, since we also know he can’t wrestle worth a damn.  He talks about how much he hates Jimmy Hart because Jimmy won’t let him wrestle Hogan…which I really thank Jimmy for…but he doesn’t mention The Giant at all.  Oh well.

We go from there to match #3.

Match #3: Special Woman VS Man match: Col. Robert Parker VS Madusa

Madusa is in her red, white, and blue attire that I’m used to her being in.  She runs out in total babyface mode, leaving me to wonder where this came from.  Last time we saw her she put the beat down on Sherri, still looking like a heel.

Parker locks up with Madusa and the announcers pop like crazy.  Dusty and Heenan can’t believe it.  They lock up a few times, shoving each other around the ring, until Madusa pulls him down in an arm drag.

Random side point, but Madusa goes into the WWE Hall of Fame this weekend…and 19 years later, she still looks good!

Parker picks her up and airplane spins her around until Madusa slips loose and sunset flips Parker.  She gets 2 and Madusa follows by body-slamming Parker.

See, this match works because Parker is a manager.  In about two years, Mark Mero has roughly this same match with his wife and it ruins his career.  Interesting.

Madusa hits a few second rope dropkicks, sending Parker to the floor.  She dives off of the top rope to the floor, but Parker kind of catches her, which is good, but he basically lays her down and it looks really weak.  Madusa hits a nice German suplex but during the count Dick Slater pulls her leg, allowing Parker to roll over top of her and get the win.

Winner: Col. Robert Parker

Honestly, I would normally hate this match, but it was quick, well done, and did what it needed to do.  Sadly, Slater causing the screwy finish means we’re going to see this again sometime down the road, which is one more time than we need to see it.

We see some replays and Tony pitches us backstage to Lee Marshall.  Marshall brings in the Road Warriors.  Hawk says they’re going to remove the medulla oblongata from Booker T and Sting, so it’s nice to know we’re back to basically just talking about plain out murder in WCW now.  This entire primo is done in front of a chalk board that has the Doomsday cage outlined on it in the back.  There are triangles beside the names of Hogan and Savage, so I’m guessing triangles mean victories in WCW land.

The announcers speculate on the finances of Diamond Dallas Page.  Bobby says that if DDP messes up the Booty Man’s face, Kim won’t want anything to do with him.  Tony pitches Slamboree in May as we go to a commercial for the event, letting us know that we’re getting the Lethal Lottery.

Match #4: I Quit Match: Diamond Dallas Page VS The Booty Man w/ The Booty Babe

ddpbrody_zpsacbc1edaNow THIS is the DDP run that I remember from around this time.  DDP comes out with no ring jacket, no glitz or glamour…just a pair of rough looking tights with rips and holes in them.

Man, Booty Man is the biggest tool in this company.  The stupid dancing…the ripped gear…ugh…WTF 96 Shane?

If DDP loses this match, he has to quit wrestling.  If he wins, he gets his money and Kimberly back.

DDP is looking rough in this match.  Scraggly beard, worse hair than normal…he looks like he’s been living in a dumpster for a while.  Good job at selling this whole deal.  I must have seen most of this play out on Saturday Night, though…I remember this being a BIG deal, but I haven’t seen any of this play out on Nitro.

Not much happens in the early parts of this match.  A lot of punches back and forth, then Booty Man puts DDP in an arm hold and stomps the arm.  DDP Irish whips him but Booty Man grabs the ropes, dances to the corner and shakes his ass.  DDP tries to attack and Booty Man sends him outside.  As DDP tries to climb back into the ring, he’s arguing with Nick Patrick, who shoves him off of the ring apron and back down to the floor.  DDP decides to leave, despite the fact that if he loses, he has to leave wrestling, but Booty Man goes up the ramp and brings him back.  That’s dumb, though, because if Booty Man has DDP as a thorn in his side, if DDP takes the low road out, he has to leave…problem solved.

Booty Man slams DDP’s head into the turnbuckles, causing DDP to bump out of the ring…then into the ring post, then over the guardrail.

As DDP is dealing with all of this, Kimberly comes out in a ballerina costume in the Booty Man’s colors.  Kim, as always, is looking amazing.

“What’s she wearing?  A feather duster?” – Bobby Heenan

vlcsnap-2014-07-17-17h36m38s10_zpsffbd0635Booty Man brings DDP back into the ring, but DDP grabs a side healock that Booty Man gets out of.  They criss-cross the ropes and DDP grabs the top rope and dances like Booty Man did earlier, but to a chorus of boos.  They then do this spot twice where DDP drops to the ground and Booty Man either falls on him or dives over top of him.  Both times it worked out awkwardly.  DDP takes control out of this and Kimberly tries to climb up on the ring apron but DDP gives her some lip.  He hits a nice back suplex but doesn’t go for the cover immediately so he only gets a 2 count.  DDP grabs a side headlock again on the ground and the referee drops Booty Man’s arm twice, the third time the crowd brings Booty Man back into the match.  DDP keeps the headlock on, though, using the ropes a few times for leverage.

Kim keeps looking at the camera and saying stupid things.  “Oh my God, he’s so cute.”  “I don’t want him to get hurt, I want him to be my boyfriend.”

Kim gets up on the apron and DDP kisses her.  Kim is shocked, slapping DDP, and allowing Booty Man a moment to hit the High Knee for the win.

Winner: The Booty Man

After the match, Booty Man grabs Kim and kisses her, making Kim swoon.  DDP is irate, trying to get out of the ring to the lovely couple, but is being held down by Nick Patrick while Doug Dillinger comes out to escort Page to the back.

We go to the back with Mean Gene, Lex Luger and Jimmy Hart.  Gene tells us that Hart is the one that pulled Lex Luger out of the Chicago Street Fight and put him in the Loch Ness spot in the Doomsday match.  Jimmy Hart says that tonight is the last night he will walk Luger to the ring.  He hands Luger his Lex Luger jacket so that Lex can put it into this trophy case.  He runs out crying and Mean Gene yells “blow it out your…” before he’s cut off.

Luger says that this is the hardest part of his wrestling career as he has to leave his Tag Team Partner in a Chicago Street Fight without Lex Luger, FROM CHICAGO!  Then, tonight, he’ll have to go into the cage whether he wants to or not.

We go from there to our next match.

Match #5: Loch Ness VS The Giant w/ Jimmy Hart

dungeon_of_doom_loch_ness_vs_the_giant_wcw_uncensored_96_fXBc9SpK.sizedLoch Ness comes out to what will later this year become Rey Mysterio, Jr’s music.  Seems like he’s the second person to use that music since this started.  Gonna have to go back through my archives and find out if I’m right with that one.

This match should be freaking terrible.  Giant is still green as all get out.  Loch Ness is terrible and can’t move.  Also, the winner of this match gets a title shot against Ric Flair tomorrow night on Nitro!

Giant and Loch Ness bash each other into the corner for a while before The Giant runs at Loch Ness with a diving elbow into the corner.  Loch Ness moves and Giant flies over the top rope in a pretty nasty spill!  It’s crazy to believe how athletic Giant is.  Giant comes back into the ring and Loch Ness hits the elbow drop.  He goes for a second one but Giant moves.  Giant gets Loch Ness down, hits a leg drop, and puts a mercy killing to the match in quick order.

Winner: The Giant – new #1 contender to the WCW World Heavyweight Championship

Giant says that the leg drop was for Hogan and that tomorrow he’s coming for Flair.

We get a quick replay and then they take us to Lee Marshall.  Marshall is still in front of that diagram of the Doomsday cage.  Marshall brings in Sting and Booker T.  He asks Sting about this partnership but Booker T starts talking first.  He says that he’s doing it to go after the Road Warriors.  After they go down 110th Street, it’s a Harlem Street Fight and it’s on like neckbone.  Sting fires Booker T up, saying that he wants him mean and angry.  We leave this and go to our street fight.

Match #6: Chicago Street Fight: The Road Warriors VS Sting (WCW Tag Team Champion) & Booker T

The Road Warriors jump the babyfaces during their entrances.  They end up in the ring with Booker squaring off with Hawk and Sting taking it to Animal.  Sting goes for a Stinger Splash but gets a boot to the face for his trouble.  He and Animal say in the ring while Booker & Hawk take it to the floor.

Animal goes for a splash but Sting moves, but Hawk comes in and cuts Sting off before he can capitalize.  In comes Booker T and hits his axe kick on Animal as the four trade opponents and places.

This one is going to be hard to follow since it’s a tag match in name only.  All four men are going at all times.

Sting gets crotched on the ringpost by Animal.  Booker T piledrives Hawk on the outside and then hits a big superkick and follows it by a jumping side kick.  In the ring, Sting gets his facebuster bulldog but in comes Hawk to cut him off as the opponents trade out again.

Booker is getting the shine, here, honestly.  He’s hitting the big moves and Sting is taking most of the beatings.

Up the entrance ramp, Hawk hits a dropkick to Sting.  That’s on the concrete floor, though, so I’m not too sure how smart that was.  Back in the ring, Animal hits a dropkick to Booker as well.  Partners trade again as Sting heads to the back and gets a chair.  He takes out Animal with it then makes it to the ring and hits Hawk with it as well.  Booker holds Hawk up and Sting hits an unprotected chair shot to Hawk.  Animal comes in, grabs the chair and starts hitting fools with it.  Booker gets a big spin wheel kick and Sting piledrives Hawk, who no-sells it and then powerbombs Sting.

On the outside, Animal chokes Booker T with a cable and Hawk puts a headlock and then an armlock on Sting in the middle of the ring.

Sting goes for the Stinger Splash again but Hawk moves and Sting eats turnbuckle.  The Warriors go for the Doomsday Device but Booker T knocks Animal off of the top rope.  Booker goes up top for a big diving knee for a two count before Hawk gets to the ropes.  Sting and Animal collide in mid ring, dazing both, but Sting falls dazed and headbutts Animal in the junk.  I forgot Sting had that move, but now that I’ve seen it again, I remember I always liked it.

Booker goes to try to do his Spinaroonie up but Animal gets in his way and stops it.  Sting goes up top for a big splash but Animal moves.  Hawk goes to the top but Booker T dropkicks him in midair.

Sting suplexes Hawk and crotches him on the top rope then grabs the leg and shakes him up and down.  Booker suplexes Animal in the ring.  Booker goes for the side kick but Animal moves and Booker crotches himself on the top, so Animal gives him the up and down shake.  Hawk goes up top and hits a diving clothesline to Booker T but he goes down as well and can’t capitalize on it.

Sting goes for a diving splash but Animal gets up and powerslams him out of it.  Sting gets the shoulder up at the very last second, resulting in a 2 count.  Booker goes for a pin on the outside while Sting and Animal hit each other with a double clothesline in the ring.  As Animal and Sting brawl outside, Booker hits his axe kick, Spinaroonie and then the side kick.  Animal tries to clothesline Sting against the ring post but Sting moves and Animal clotheslines the post before being clobbered by Sting and a steel chair.  Hawk tries to take the chair from Sting, leaving Booker to dive over the top to try to get Hawk, but he takes a chair to the gut for his efforts.  Sting heads to the back again, looking for something.  Sting makes his way back to the ring with a pair of brooms.  He hits Animal with both before heading into the ring and beating Hawk with them as well.  Animal takes the brooms from Sting, clotheslines him with them and then hits Booker with the broom handles.  Animal breaks the broom in half and chokes Sting with the shortened handle before Booker T breaks it up.  Booker Grabs the handle from the ref and chokes Animal with it.

Booker T heads outside, waves his hands in disgust, and heads to the back, seemingly leaving Sting to fend off the Road Warriors by himself.  The cameras follow Booker and Animal backstage where they pass Lex Luger.  Luger is primping in the mirror, content to not enter it, before Animal runs into Luger and knocks him into the trash can.  Luger attacks Animal, as does Stevie Ray.  They beat down Animal and tape him around a post, taking him out of the match.

Sting backs Hawk up against the guardrail and goes for the Stinger Splash but Animal moves and Sting hits the steel hard.  Booker T comes back out and runs Hawk into the steel steps hard before bringing him into the ring and slamming him.  He goes for the Harlem Hangover but Hawk moves out of the way.  Out comes Stevie Ray with a chair, slamming it into Hawk hard.  Booker goes for the pin and the win.

Winners: Sting & Booker T

The moment the match is over we see Animal, who is actually handcuffed, screaming.  Stevie Ray takes a chair to him and tells the camera “We want our titles back, sucka!”

This match, honestly, went on too long.  There was so much going on that it was almost too much.  I think it could have gotten away with being about five minutes shorter.  This match, though, did live up to the Uncensored name.  It was a hard hitting match where anything was allowed and they did a good job building up the craziness…especially with that finish.

The announcers wonder how they’re going to follow that and then start putting over the Doomsday Cage.  Bobby says all the thieves and lowlifes are going to be in that cage, trying to take out Hulkamania.  Tony says that Hogan and Savage start at the top and go gauntlet style through the cages.  They have to beat the men in the first cage before they can advance to the second one, so on and so forth.  Hogan and Savage can be beaten at any time.  With that, Tony sends us to Michael Buffer.

Match #7: Doomsday Cage Match: The Mega Force (Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage) VS The Alliance to End Hulkamania: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (WCW Champion) w/ Woman & Ms. Elizabeth, “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson, “Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan, “Total Package” Lex Luger w/ Jimmy Hart, Meng, The Barbarian, Z-Gangsta, The Ultimate Solution

Meng is announced as being from “some unknown part of the planet.”  I liked that.

The announcers ask where Brian Pillman is.  Guess Pillman decided he wasn’t having any part of this.  It’s also interesting to see that everyone is in gear except for Arn Anderson, who is in sweats, obviously giving zero &$*#s about this match.  Hogan and Savage are announced constantly as the Mega Force.  I guess Vince got sue happy over the whole Mega Powers thing.  Gonna have to read up on my Meltzer newsletters to see if he acknowledges that at all.

So, here’s the breakdown of this match.  This cage is 3 stories tall.  The top story is the size of the ring and features Arn Anderson and Ric Flair.  Right below them is the second story, and the cage is cut in half.  In one side, the Faces of Fear.  In the other side, Sullivan and Luger.  The bottom section contains the ring and SHOULD contain Z-Gangsta and Ultimate Solution, but at the start of the match, it’s empty.

wcw-uncensored-doomsday-cage

There’s a part of me that wants to look at this match and say it’s the stereotypical WCW match…but then again, we have things like the Elimination Chamber, which honestly isn’t MUCH different than this match.

The booking of this match is odd…why is Flair the first one to be conquered?  I would think that the final cage should be Flair and Sullivan, since they’re the masterminds of this.  Guess Hogan wanted to show Flair that he felt that all of the other people in the match were more important…especially the two main guys whose biggest claims to fame to date are being in crappy movies.

There’s very little wrestling in this match.  It’s just beating each other and putting them into the cage or the steel beam running through the center of the cage.  At one point, both Arn and Flair get Hogan and Savage in the Figure 4, but both babyfaces reverse.  Flair tries to drop something down to the cage below him, but it looks like Sullivan drops it and it just goes through the bottom of the cage.  It shows all four men in the second story looking down as if searching for it.

Hogan and Savage toss powder into the faces of Arn and Flair and escape to the second story through the trap door.  I didn’t realize that they could just leave…I thought they had to actually beat the people in each cage.  Guess not.  When Hogan and Savage get to the second story, they arrive in the Meng and Barbarian cage, but Luger opens the door between the two and he and Sullivan attack the babyfaces.  Jimmy Hart runs up to the second level and gives Sullivan whatever Flair passed to him.  Hogan also apparently has a chain and starts beating the heels down with it.  Hogan takes the chain and uses it to lock the door between the two cages, locking away the Faces of Fear from he and Savage.

“I can hear that woman screaming from here.” – Dusty Rhodes.

“That’s Jimmy Hart.” – Tony Schiavone.

Hogan and Sullivan battle outside of the second cage and onto the scaffolding that runs up the sides of the cage.  They tease Hogan knocking Sullivan off of the scaffolding and down to the floor, but Hogan and Sullivan eventually battle to the floor.  Luger and Savage follow and they end up battling out to the regular ring in the center of the area.

Soooo, what’s the point of the bottom cage with the ring in it?  There’s no one in it.  Z-Gangsta, Brian Pillman or Ultimate Solution never showed up.  Wow…this match…

Hogan and Sullivan brawl in the regular ring while Luger and Savage brawl up at the Doomsday cage and scaffolding.    Hogan takes Sullivan up to the Doomsday cage and rams his head into it before attacking Luger and cleaning him off of Savage.  Savage takes it to Sullivan now.  They had shown the Faces of Fear coming down from the cage but apparently they just bounced backstage…same with the Horsemen.

Hogan makes it to the ring with Luger while Sullivan starts dismantling the scaffolding.  He simply drops the wood he’s working with and starts to run to the ring, though.  Savage picks up the wood and runs to ringside with it, hitting Sullivan with it.  Sullivan runs Savage into the ring steps, though, and joins Luger in the beatdown of Hogan.

There’s really no psychology to this match.  One guy will be beaten down then come back, then get cut off, then come back…

Hogan and Luger start trading off chair shots on the floor while Sullivan crotches Savage on the guard rail and clotheslines him off.

It’s funny how a 10 man match has degenerated into just a 4 man match.  Of course, as I type that, out comes Jimmy Hart with Z-Gangsta and Ultimate Solution.  It’s interesting to note that these two guys have the distinction of both being in Batman movies.

The newcomers take Hogan and Savage up to the Doomsday Cage and throw them into the bottom section with the ring.  I’d love to know the paydays of these two versus everyone else in the match.

I’d hate to watch this live in the arena.  It looks like it’s lit terribly and there are times when it’s even hard to see on TV, so I can imagine that the guy sitting in the last row in the arena is getting pissed at not being able to see what’s going on THROUGH a cage, badly lit, at the entrance.

It’s more garbage brawling in this ring but intermittently we have Sullivan poking Savage with a steel pole from the outside.  Hogan finally faces off with Zeus, though, who chokes him and takes him to the mat.  Savage goes off the top but Ultimate Solution grabs him and slams him.  In come Arn Anderson (in ring gear now) and Ric Flair.

You know, it’s hard to believe this company is two months away from revolutionizing the wrestling world and changing the business forever.

Booty Man gets Hogan and Savage some powder and frying pans.  The Megan Powers start beating everyone with these pans, denting them and showing us all that they’re fake as all hell.  In comes Luger for the save, attacking Hogan and Savage.

“Luger obviously the fresh man…he hasn’t been hit with a frying pan!” – Tony Schiavone.

Luger pulls on a glove, which the announcers speculate is loaded, and goes to hit Savage.  Savage moves, Luger takes a beat and punches Flair.  Hogan takes the moment to try to escape, but Savage covers Flair, gets the win, and the two of them literally hightail it out of the arena.  No celebrating, no playing to the crowd…they run away.  The announcers speculate as to whether Luger knew that he was going to hit Flair or not.  They state that he saw Savage duck but still followed through with the punch.  I had to go back and watch it again, but that’s exactly what it seems like happened.  Lex gets out of the ring first, leaving Anderson with his arms wide and wondering what the hell.

So, there we have it, folks…Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage have beaten 8 men in one night.  Those 8 men include the top two heels, one of which is the World Champion.  They include Arn Anderson, The Faces of Fear, Lex Luger (a main eventer and double champion at the moment) and two giants.  They literally destroyed everyone in the company, basically.

Heenan says he’s going to go talk to the guys in the back right now and say let’s start tomorrow, let’s get together and do something to end this virus that is Hulkamania.  He throws off his headset and storms to the back as Tony takes us off the air.

Uncensored has the reputation of being the worst show of the year in WCW.  There are definitely things I can point to in this show that has made it that thus far.  This cage match at the end was an atrocious clustermuck.  There’s no two ways about it…it just was.  It made no sense.  It didn’t have many prescribed rules and it broke the ones that it did have. It put two nobodies over most of the established WCW locker room and it let Hogan and Savage prove that no 8 men in this company can defeat them.  It was a giant Hulkamania jerkoff session and the show suffered for it.  I’m done with this Hogan garbage.  I seem to remember him being off the air during the initial Invasion, so I’m hoping he takes a hike here very soon and stops showing up on Nitro.

I just realized that the “poster” that WWE Network has for this event has Hogan and Savage in the center with the 8 men that are wrestling them as floating heads above them.  Ultimate Solution’s “floating head” is the Bane mask from Batman & Robin!  Wow…

Uncensored Logo

The Chicago Street Fight was very hard hitting, but it was a mess as well and went on a few minutes too long.  The DDP VS Booty Man match was rough…but I’m putting that all on Booty Man.  I’m anxious for DDP to come back in a few months, though, and start his major rise to the top.  I love me some DDP and we’re going to start getting into the time when I really started liking him as we move through 1996.  Regal VS Finlay was a pretty good match.  Loch Ness and Giant was bad, but thankfully it was quick, as was Madusa and Parker.

Was it the weakest show thus far…probably.  Was it terrible?  There were parts of it that were pretty bad, but the overall show, no, not really.  I’m just hoping this FINALLY puts the end to the Hogan / Dungeon stuff as I’m so tired of it.  Tomorrow on Nitro we’re getting Flair VS Giant for the title and I remember distinctly how that match works out, so that’ll be interesting to see where we go from there.

Until next time, wrestling fans!

Shane

Well that was certainly an interesting Wrestlemania. Definitely a lot better than last year’s. I know Derick and Shane blame me for Sting’s loss so figured I may as well pick the best picture I could find to rub some salt in their wounds. We had a lot of shocks this year as well as plenty of good moments as well. The only thing I personally didn’t like was Brock losing his championship. I blame Dean Ambrose for not keeping his promise but that is another article for another time. Let’s take a look and see how we stack up with our predictions after this year’s Wrestlemania…

Derick – 13/22

Shane – 12/22

Robbie – 10/22

Really close game so far. Hopefully Extreme Rules will be a fun PPV and level the playing field a little here at Kick Out at 2!

wrestlemaniabanner

Here we are at WWE’s biggest PPV of the year. While this hasn’t exactly been the most thrilling ride on the Road to Wrestlemania, there are still a few matches on this card I’m interested in seeing. That and it is Wrestlemania so it’s kinda of tradition. Let’s take a look and see how Kick Out at 2 predicts the outcome of Wrestlemania 31.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns

Robbie’s Pick: Brock Lesnar – I’m really glad to hear that Brock resigned with the WWE and that he has effectively retired from the world of MMA. I think Brock is exactly where he should be and I honestly do not see him letting go of the championship any time soon. In fact, if he holds onto the title for roughly 7 more months, he will take away CM Punk’s record of being the longest reigning WWE Champion of the modern era. With Punk not being one of WWE’s favorite people, I could really see them using Brock to take that achievement away from The Second City Saint. Brock isn’t going anywhere for awhile so they may as well make use of that new 3 year contract.

Shane’s Pick: Brock Lesnar – The moment Brock made his announcement, I feel that solidified him as keeping his belt at Mania.  They may still feel the need to go with their favorite boy in the end and give Reigns the belt, but I just feel that if they push him for another year, let him get better and make him earn it, then this same match at WM32 with Reigns winning will taste a lot better than it would this year.

Derick’s Pick: Brock Lesnar – Because he’s Brock F***ING! Lesnar!

Sting vs Triple H

Robbie’s Pick: Sting – I know this is the match that Shane and Derick are looking forward to the most so I will let the Master of WCW knowledge explain this match.

Shane’s Pick: Sting – Potentially the Stinger’s last match and I don’t believe that they’d bring him all the way in just to lose that one final match since this one isn’t against Taker.  This is the match I’m looking most forward to, just as Robbie said, and just as you can all read about in my Kick Out at Nitro segments!  I am, however, calling some interference by Sting’s longest foe, The Nature Boy, right now.

Derick’s Pick: Sting – I was WCW before I was WWE so I gotta go with what I know. Sorry, Hunter…. but “You’re still the best at Wrestling

WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Daniel Bryan vs Stardust vs Dolph Ziggler vs Luke Harper vs Dean Ambrose vs R-Truth vs Bad News Barrett

Robbie’s Pick: Daniel Bryan – My guess is WWE uses Daniel to help elevate the Intercontinental division. With Brock keeping the main title, I see them using top tier talent as the Intercontinental and United States Champions.

Shane’s Pick: Dean Ambrose – Honestly, I think it’ll be Bryan, but I’ve now sided with my compatriots twice and I didn’t want the third one in a row to happen.  I do REALLY hope it’s Ambrose, though!

Derick’s Pick: Daniel Bryan – Time to bring the IC title back to some relevancy.

The Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt

Robbie’s Pick: The Undertaker – The Streak is over and we haven’t seen The Undertaker in a year. I see him returning with a vengeance, with a purpose and the Dead Man will be there to show he hasn’t missed a step. My only question is will he return as The Dead Man, Big Evil or a new version we haven’t seen yet? At the end of the day, it isn’t Wrestlemania without The Undertaker.

Shane’s Pick: The Undertaker – As much as I would like to see Bray get this win, it doesn’t mean as much as it could have now.  Taker comes back, everyone is happy with a win and it vindicates last year, we all go home.

Derick’s Pick: The UndertakerSurely they won’t have him lose twice at Wrestlemania. I honestly think they realize they made a mistake last year and don’t see them doing that again.

Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins

Robbie’s Pick: Seth Rollins – I really wanted to pick Orton here. I really did. The only reason I’m not is because I know if Rollins lost here he would go on to cash in later in the night after the Main Event and I just don’t see anyone but Brock walking out as Champion. Orton has already gotten his retribution for being put out of action so I’m going with Rollins. This is the only match I don’t feel good about my pick and if Orton wins I will probably literally” kick myself where my appendix used to be!”

Shane’s Pick: Randy Orton – Seth is bulletproof right now, so the loss to Randy makes the fans happy and Rollins still has that briefcase he can use at any time.

Derick’s Pick:  Seth Rollins – If he loses at Mania it makes him look weak. Being Mr. Money in the Bank, I just see him walking out of Mania with a win.

WWE United States Championship Match: Rusev vs John Cena

Robbie’s Pick: John Cena – I’m still surprised Hulk Hogan isn’t in Cena’s corner but then again it may be a last minute addition to the match. I just see Cena winning here and USA getting the best of the “Evil Russian.” With all the America vs Russia stuff in this setup, I can’t see anyone but Hulk Hogan or Sylvester Stallone holding Cena’s hand high in victory.

Shane’s Pick: John Cena – I’m okay with this.  I wasn’t…until I watched Cena on Kimmel the other night.  Why isn’t he like that ALL the time.  Yes, it was jokey Cena, but it wasn’t silly jokey Cena and he actually put over Rusev as a threat…he just made funny comments on how he was going to win.  I liked it.

Derick’s Pick – Rusev – Because F*** Cena that’s why!

Wrestlemania Andre The Giant Battle Royal Match

Robbie’s Pick: Sheamus – Those return videos airing on RAW haven’t been for nothing.

Shane’s Pick: Hideo Itami – ‘Cause, why not?

Derick’s Pick:  Damien Mizdow – Wouldn’t that be the best thing EVER…. OF ALL TIME!?

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Cesaro & Tyson Kidd vs The New Day vs Los Matadores vs The Usos

Robbie’s Pick: Cesaro and Kidd – You don’t put 3 baby face teams against the heels unless you really want them to pull all their hell like shenanigans.

Shane’s Pick: Cesaro and Kidd – What are they going to do…give it to the Uso’s for the eleventieth time?

Derick’s Pick:  Cesaro and Kidd – Cesaro should be the ruler of EVERYTHING!

Diva’s Tag Team Match: AJ Lee and Paige vs The Bella Twins

Robbie’s Pick: AJ and Paige – The Bellas are leaving. I care about that as much as I do this match. Why isn’t this the match that got bumped down to the pre-show?

Shane’s Pick: AJ and Paige – It’s Mania…babyfaces winning makes us feel good.

Derick’s Pick:  AJ and Paige – Because one of The Bellas is dating Cena. Let’s face it, I simply don’t pick anything Cena related….

 

KoaNitro copyHello, everyone, and welcome back to another edition of Kick Out at Nitro, the Internet’s favorite WCW retrospective as voted by our moms.  Today we’re taking a look at the March 18th episode of Nitro, the go-home show to WCW UnCensored.

The show starts off with a bang with The Giant and Loch Ness beating down each other in the entrance way.  This is interesting as Nitro has NEVER started off already in progress like this.  Bischoff tells us that we’re supposed to see Loch Ness VS Lex Luger but Giant is out beating the crap out of Loch Ness while Jimmy Hart cheers on.  Luger’s music starts up and Luger nonchalantly walks out and poses with his two title belts, totally ignoring the bedlam on his right.  He walks by, nods at it, and walks off lifting his belts and smirking.  This was awesome.  I’m loving Luger here recently, as I’ve stated multiple times over the last few weeks, but him no-selling this and just posing was awesome.

Match #1: Loch Ness VS “The Total Package” Lex Luger

Referee Randy Anderson starts the count, counting Loch Ness out.

Winner: Lex Luger via count out

Luger celebrates like he just won the title.  Jimmy Hart runs into the ring and jumps into Luger’s arms, but Luger shrugs him off and looks to still not be all about celebrating with Hart.  The announcers are giving Luger crap and Luger comes up to the announce booth, saying he just won WCW’s shortest title defense ever.  He tells Mongo this is like a football game ending on the coin toss.  Luger looks for a high five from Mongo but gets nothing.  Bobby Heenan is happy to oblige, however.

Bischoff tells us that we’ll get a replacement match and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial break we hear the voice of Tony Schiavone, which threw me off a bit since we never hear Tony on non-PPVs.  Tony brings out Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage.  Tony says that the Mega Powers are on a roll, not only in tonight’s Texas Tornado tag team match, but that Savage will also be in the Doomsday Cage Match.  Tony says that Hogan announced this last week on Nitro, but that didn’t happen.  Hogan & Savage cut a promo on the match, including Hogan saying that the good thing about the match is that “no stinkin’ titles are on the line.”  Um…you mean that title you have been bitching about for three months now, Hogan?

Out of nowhere, this promo really seemed out of place.  I don’t know if that’s 2015 me looking at it through an awkward lense or if it really seems out of place in the context…but it really just came across as hokey out of nowhere and not reflective of WCW at the time.  It stuck out as really 80’s WWF to me…which is what it was…and that just didn’t play right in my mind.

We go to another quick break and back to…

Match #2: Public Enemy VS The Steiner Brothers

“Here’s the story of two brothers, Rick and Scott…”  WCW’s music was so silly at times.  Although, Steinerized always had a place on my PS3 and in my WWE games every single year.  The Steiners are my absolute favorite tag team of all time so there’s going to be a lot of fanboy gushing over the next few months.

Bischoff starts off telling us that there won’t be any textbook wrestling in this match, however, the match starts with some decent chain wrestling from Scotty Steiner and Rocco Rock.  Steiner gets a good tilt-a-whirl slam and a gorilla press, showing us how freakishly strong he is.

Bischoff randomly tells us that Dennis Rodman just got suspended for six games and fined for using a headbutt, so he must be getting ready for UnCensored.  He says maybe we’ll see Rodman hooking up with Hogan at the PPV!  Oddly enough, he’s right…just a little over a year too early.  Rodman starts showing up around this time next year.  We also find out that Sting will be joined by Booker T against the Road Warriors at the Chicago Street Fight on Sunday.

This has been a really good match, truthfully.  Bischoff states that Public Enemy are “wrestling up” to the Steiner Brothers’ level, and that’s kind of true.  They’ve been really competitive.

Bischoff mentions the Cruiserweight Championship tournament, taking place over two continents, including a former Olympic athlete.  I’m not sure who this is.

All four men start going at it.  Rick gets laid out on a table at ringside which Rocco attempts to dive through.  Scott pulls his brother out of the way and Rock goes through the table.  In the ring, Scott lifts up Johnny Grunge and Rick hits the top rope bulldog off of his shoulders for the win.

Winners: The Steiner Brothers

We go to commercial break and get the Up Next graphic for or next match, which is…

Match #3: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson w/ Woman VS The Booty Man

Bischoff tells us that at UnCensored, Booty Man will be wrestling DDP.  If DDP loses, he loses his career.

Booty Man starts off with a headlock on Arn, wrenching it and then dancing his way out of an Irish whip.  Wow…’96 Shane was an idiot.  I’m just saying.

Booty Man rams Arn’s head into the top turnbuckle for a 5 count then the middle for 5 more.  I feel bad for Arn.

Arn does this really cool thing after a whip to the corner.  He staggers out and looks to almost feed into a move from Booty Man but he grabs the top rope, falls to the mat and rolls himself out of the way in one motion.  Booty Man follows him out and he’s immediately met with a knee to the gut for his trouble.

Kim comes out, wearing white again, cheering on Booty Man.

Booty Man has Arn in the corner and Woman takes off her shoe.  She goes after Kim, though, which brings out Booty Man to defend her.  Arn hits a double axe handle and sends Booty Man back into the ring, though, but he’s met with a high knee (get it?  Hiney?) as he tries to enter himself.

Winner: The Booty Man

We get the Saturday Night rundown.  Road Warriors VS Public Enemy.  Sting VS Sir Robert Eaton.  Luger defending the TV Title against Brad Armstrong.  Eddie Guerrero VS Alex Wright.  Ric Flair…the champion…wrestling Sgt. Craig Pittman.  Wow.  That’s very interesting.

Match #4: The Road Warriors VS The Nasty Boys

Wow, are we going to get our first 5 match Nitro?  Granted, one of them was the Luger gimmick at the beginning, but still…Nitro has went from 3 matches to 4 and now to 5.

According to Meltzer, the Nastys had been let go to free up money to bring in the Steiners.  That’s why the whole “beat down in the back” thing happened last week.  Looks like they’re back, though.

Bischoff yet again tells us that we’re not going to get scientific wrestling in this match and this time I’m inclined to believe him.  All four men start brawling as we go to commercial break, including one for UnCensored.  Bischoff said earlier that we would not get replays or pictures from this event on Nitro since it is unsanctioned and uncensored.  I like the selling point to this PPV…it’s just that UnCensored is almost always the worst PPV of the year.

The Nastys are tapes up, selling the injuries from their off screen beat down last week.  Knobbs gets knocked off of the apron onto the guardrail, bringing out Animal to start hitting both Nastys with a chair.  Not a folding chair, mind you…just a blue plastic chair like you would see in a classroom.  He does so right in front of referee Nick Patrick…actually OVER Nick Patrick, but the match is not called DQ and continues on.

Heenan says that there have been no legal tags in this match and that it has been like a Chicago Street Fight, but Bischoff cuts that off quick and says “No, no it hasn’t!”  Funny that he doesn’t want this to come across like something we’d possibly see at the PPV when they give away PPV main events all the damn time.  He’s true, though…Nick Patrick continues his run as terrible ref in this match as he absolutely loses control in this match.

Out come the Steiners, distracting everyone long enough for Animal to replay what he did last week and nail Knobbs with his spiked arm pad for the win.

Winners: The Road Warriors

The Road Warriors and Steiners brawl to the back as we go to commercial.

Match #5: Texas Tornado Match: “Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan & “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (WCW Champion) w/ Woman VS Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage

So…a Texas Tornado match, we’re told, has no tags and no rules.  This follows a tag match with no tags and no rules.  Leading into a PPV with no rules…

The match starts and everyone beats down everyone.  Hogan has Flair on the outside, sending him into the guard rail and attacking him with someone’s foam Macho Man hat.

Climbing back into the ring, Flair comes in on the top rope and Hogan sends him to the mat.  He backs him into the corner, bites him, then sends him into the corner again.  The Mega Powers double team Sullivan, then split back off, trading opponents.  Hogan, on the outside, wraps a cord around Sullivan’s neck and choking him.  What the serious hell, Hogan?!  I know there are no rules and that the babyfaces are coming back after months of beatdowns, but still, I think we should draw the line at strangling your opponent, don’t you think?  As a babyface, that’s a little too heelish for my tastes.

The announcers mention Rodman for the third damn time on this show, talking about how much they hope he shows up to UnCensored.  It’s gonna be really awkward if he doesn’t.

Flair locks on the Figure 4 on Savage while Hogan puts the same move on Sullivan.  Hogan always looks so awkward when he’s putting the move on, though.  He doesn’t do the turn…he steps through the leg and lays down.

Savage reverses the Figure 4 and Flair breaks out of it.  Flair stands up and shoves Randy Anderson who returns by shoving the crap out of Flair, who bumps out of it.

Hogan sends Flair to the corner, following him in with a clothesline and then a few chops and punches while Savage is fighting with Sullivan on the floor.  Bischoff tells us that we’re approaching 10 PM but they’re going to stay with the show as long as they can.  Flair gets Hogan in the corner, gives one chop and it’s a one way ticket to No-Sell Town, population Hogan.  They end up on the floor and Flair hits a low blow, which Hogan does sell.

Woman pitches Flair her shoe and he blasts Hogan in the face with ityet again.  Flair goes for the pin and gets 2 before Hogan bench presses him Flair off of him and Hulks up.  This brings out Arn Anderson as Hogan hits some punches and a big boot.  Hogan this the ropes for the leg drop but Arn grabs his foot and trips him up.  Hogan follows Anderson around the ring to where Brian Pillman is beating down Randy Savage.  Yes, that’s right…Brian Pillman is back and beating down the babyfaces at ringside!

Out comes Booty Man to help even the odds.

We look up the entrance ramp at Zeus!  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the star of No Holds Barred and Friday is making his way down the ramp!  He’s followed by a big white dude in face paint as well.  The heels gather in the ring and run the babyfaces off.

Winners: No Contest

Flair grabs the mic and says “Hogan! Hogan!  Do something about it!”  Hogan is freaking out about Zeus as the babys bail.

Tony Schiavone gets in the ring with Flair, Anderson, Woman, Sullivan, Hart, Zeus and Big White Dude.  Sullivan says that when Hogan invited in Savage to this match, he upped the ante and now he’s found the biggest threats he can to end Hulkamania.  Jimmy Hart says that earlier Hogan said he and Savage were like Butch and Sundance, but in reality they’re more like “Dumber and Dumber.”  Yep, he screwed it up.  Arn refers to Booty Man as “Big Brother Booty.”  That makes me sad.  Sullivan says that “everybody in the world knows this man and what he did to you in the late 80s” as he points to Zeus.  At this time, no, no I didn’t.  I didn’t watch WWF and had never seen No Holds Barred, so I had no damn idea who this dude was.  Tony pitches the cage match at UnCensored and we go back to the announcers.

Heenan is happy and yelling that we’re almost through with Hulk Hogan!  Bischoff ends the show and pitches Saturday Night and UnCensored.

 

I remember them giving the two big dudes names on this show.  I guess it didn’t happen, since I just watched it and it clearly didn’t happen, but Zeus is known as Z-Gangsta because WWF isn’t about to let them have that trademark.  The other guy, The Final Solution (which will get changed because having a wrestler named after Hitler’s plan for genocide isn’t cool), is a guy named Jeep Swenson.  Jeep would later find glory playing Bane in fellow staffer and resident champ Derick’s favorite movie, Batman & Robin.  Arn also randomly says “the wolverine his back.”  I’m guessing this refers to Pillman, but after years of Benoit being the “Rabid Wolverine” in WWE, it’s weird hearing that in reference to someone else.

All in all, not a bad show.  The tag team division was the big star tonight as we saw 4 teams really go at it and that doesn’t even include the Tag Team Champions.  We got a clustermuck (copyright Steve Austin) of a match in the main event but it’s all build around setting up the big cage match coming soon, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.  Presumably we’ll see the finish to that angle at UnCensored.  Dear Lord, I hope we do.  I can’t take much more of this.

That’s going to be it for today, ladies and gentlemen.  Join us back here in six days as we take a look at WCW UnCensored!

Shane

 

Ratings Breakdown

WWF Raw Ratings – 2.9

WCW Nitro Ratings – 3.6

(Raw – 10, Nitro – 13) (Tie Weeks – 2)

(Unopposed weeks – 4)

WWF’s longest Winning Streak (to this point) – 2

WCW’s longest Winning Streak (to this point) – 3

 

Not counting the week that Raw ran unopposed due to the Civil War movie (3/4), this is Nitro’s 3rd win in a row!  We’re on a roll, folks!  This is officially the longest winning streak in the Monday Night Wars thus far!

—–—

WWF Raw results from this week

Davey Boy Smith defeated Jake Roberts via count-out (4:52)

Goldust (c) defeated Fatu to retain the WWF Intercontinental Championship (4:39)

Diesel defeated Barry Horowitz (2:09)

Bret Hart (c) defeated Tatanka to retain the WWF Championship (8:48)

 

A Raw where I know everyone involved!  How quaint!  Not a bad looking show, honestly, and I could see it standing even with this episode of Nitro.  That’s high praise if you check back over the course of my Raw results feedback, folks!