Kick Out at Uncensored! 3/24/1996

Posted: April 6, 2015 by Kick Out At 2! in Kick Out At Nitro, Shane D
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

KoaUCHello wrestling fans and welcome to this special edition of Kick Out at Uncensored!  Tonight we’ll travel back in time to March 24th, 1996 (sorry for the late post) and find out if the Mega Powers have the ability to escape the combined wrath of the Dungeon of Doom and the Four Horsemen in the confines of the Doomsday Cage!  Tonight’s event comes to us from Tupelo, Mississippi, and we’re joined by our announce team; the usual suspects of Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes and Bobby Heenan.

Tony asks Bobby why he’s wearing a leather jacket and Bobby says it’s because he doesn’t want to ruin his suit…with leather, he can just wash any gore off of it.  Eddie Guerrero’s music starts up and the announcers kick us over to our first match.

Match #1: WCW United States Championship Match – Eddie Guerrero VS Konnan (Champion)

It looks like the Doomsday Cage is actually setup at the entrance in a completely separate cage.  The cage and scaffolding are basically the entrance here as both of our wrestlers walk past it to get into the match.

We’ve got the UnCensored logo adorning the mat.  I don’t remember seeing too many event names on the mats.  They usually just have the crosshairs WCW logo for PPVS.

This is the only title match we’re getting tonight, it seems.

Konnan starts the match off with a slow, methodical pace, which is more to Konnan’s strength.  Eddie is able to hang with him, though, so we see some good mat wrestling at the beginning, working to Eddie getting a Figure 4 locked on until Konnan hits the ropes, causing the clean break.

Konnan goes into a bit more mat wrestling and just looks sloppy as all get out through the entire exchange.  I know we’re not many matches into his WCW career, but I’m just not sold on Konnan yet.

The pace quickens and we get a nice series of arm drags from both men, allowing Konnan to finally start looking good.  Tempers get a bit heated in this exchange, though, resulting in Konnan slapping Eddie and Eddie returning the favor.

Tony tells us that JL had an upset victory over Dean Malenko in the first round of the Cruiserweight Championship match.  Nice of them to announce something like that was starting.  When did that happen, also?  Dark match?

Eddie tries a quick roll up victory but Konnan fights back and gives Eddie a little taste of his own medicine as he hits him with a Black Tiger Bomb.  Man, I love that move.  I wish Eddie would have used it a lot more, especially in WWE.

Eddie goes to the floor hard and Konnan goes for a suicide dive that’s more of a push as he just shoves Eddie into the guardrail gingerly.  Konnan tries to suplex him into the ring but Eddie reverses but it’s for naught as Konnan clotheslines him down.  Konnan covers but gets 2.  He goes up top but Eddie follows him up and hits a nice superplex.  He finally gets a cover but took too long as Konnan kicks out at 2.  Eddie tries again but gets the same result.

Eddie goes up top but Konnan tries to throw him off of the top rope a la Ric Flair, but Eddie holds on and rolls him into a small package for 2.  Konnan Irish whips Eddie to the ropes and Eddie tries to leapfrog him but Konnan grabs him and pulls himself down hard, headbutting Eddie in the junk, effectively.  The crowd boos, Tony tells us it’s a low blow, but Eddie rolls him up for the win.

Winner: Konnan (still WCW United States Champion)

After the match, Konnan tries to raise Eddie’s hand but Eddie shrugs him off, looking pissed.

Tony kicks us to Mean Gene, who is joined by Col. Robert Parker.  Gene tells us that we can chat with the wrestlers on CompuServe and we get a clip of The Giant online with fans.  I wish they’d have picked another wrestler for that.  Seeing The Giant surf the web kind of humanized him in a way I didn’t like.

Gene brings in Col. Parker and Dick Slater.  It looks like Parker is going to wrestle Madusa.  Parker says he’s going to fight for all of us and he’s going to beat down a woman for all of those of us out there who are too afraid to do it.  When did this storyline happen?  Last I remember, Parker was banging Madusa.  When did they start having trouble?

Anyway…

Match #2: Lord Steven Regal w/ Jeeves VS The Belfast Bruiser

imagesMullet & stache Finlay walks out and smacks Jeeves in the face for no good reason.  He gets in the ring and nails Regal with his jacket…half of which is a football shoulder pad.  These two start hard and fast and it’s pretty damn awesome.  Both of these guys have a mean streak a mile wide and it’s interesting to get to see it.

This match is a mix of holds and stomps and punches, honestly.  They’ll take each other down and hold onto an arm or the head and even those look more painful than you’re used to seeing.  These two guys are really working some old school holds but they’re adding that intensity and meanness into everything.

Finlay slams Regal and Tony exclaims “everything with definite force!”  That’s the best way that I can explain this match.  I know I’m not doing a lot of move-by-move calling on this match, and in some ways that’s because this is one of the harder ones I’ve tried to type up.  I think that’s because it’s mostly “Regal slams Finlay hard and grabs an arm bar…Finlay punches Regal, hard…”, so on and so forth.  Tony’s definitely right, though…this is a fight!

Finlay tries to grab a chair from the first row but they’re linked together so he has to abandon that idea.  Regal suplexes Finlay off of the ring apron to the floor and follows it with a running elbow drop.  Tony says that Regal is normally so prim and proper and tonight we’re seeing a different Regal but we’ve never seen him in a match like this.  Heenan says that it’s because they must know each other, have a history with each other, and their native lands are so close to each other…which causes Dusty to erupt in anger and talk about how they weren’t near each other.  Um…yeah, they are, Dusty.  That’s like saying Texas and Arkansas aren’t close to each other.

Out on the floor, Finlay punches Regal hard in the face and the next time we see Regal, he’s covered in blood.  Between that punch and the crack and the immediate blood, I believe Finlay broke Regal’s nose!

Finlay stomps Regal a few times and goes for a diving splash but Regal gets his legs up and just pushes Finlay over the top rope to the floor.  Regal grabs Finlay and runs him up the entrance ramp and slams him into the Doomsday cage.  Out come Robert Eaton and David Taylor and they start beating down Finlay, causing the DQ.  Um…I thought this was Uncensored…where everything was non-sanctioned and with no rules.  Guess not.

Winner: The Belfast Bruiser by Disqualification

I was just about to type that this match and the Guerrero/Konnan match were kind of disproving the point about Uncensored always being WCW’s worst event, but then this finish comes out and ruins the match.  This was such a hard hitting match that it shouldn’t have ended this way.

The announcers kick us back to Mean Gene, Jimmy Hart and The Giant.  I guess Giant got tired of talking to people on CompuServe.  Gene tells us that tomorrow Giant will wrestle Flair for the World Championship.  Man, they really just hand out title matches in this place.  Giant hasn’t even had a damn match since the Hogan match at SuperBrawl if I am remembering correctly.  What’s he done to get a title shot?  Also, so another Nitro title shot on free TV instead of on this PPV with some buildup?  Ugh!

There’s a really awkward transition where the announcers are talking about Robert Parker and Madusa and Tony randomly goes “Isn’t that right, Gene?”  Gene immediately appears on the TV and picks up the transition.  He didn’t fumble it, but he never randomly kicks to Gene like that.  There was no build up to it, no real kick off…just boom, there’s Gene.

Anyway, Gene brings in Loch Ness.  Remember, folks…Loch Ness was originally supposed to wrestle Hogan in the main event to this PPV.  Loch Ness cuts a terrible promo, showing us that all he has to him is the size, since we also know he can’t wrestle worth a damn.  He talks about how much he hates Jimmy Hart because Jimmy won’t let him wrestle Hogan…which I really thank Jimmy for…but he doesn’t mention The Giant at all.  Oh well.

We go from there to match #3.

Match #3: Special Woman VS Man match: Col. Robert Parker VS Madusa

Madusa is in her red, white, and blue attire that I’m used to her being in.  She runs out in total babyface mode, leaving me to wonder where this came from.  Last time we saw her she put the beat down on Sherri, still looking like a heel.

Parker locks up with Madusa and the announcers pop like crazy.  Dusty and Heenan can’t believe it.  They lock up a few times, shoving each other around the ring, until Madusa pulls him down in an arm drag.

Random side point, but Madusa goes into the WWE Hall of Fame this weekend…and 19 years later, she still looks good!

Parker picks her up and airplane spins her around until Madusa slips loose and sunset flips Parker.  She gets 2 and Madusa follows by body-slamming Parker.

See, this match works because Parker is a manager.  In about two years, Mark Mero has roughly this same match with his wife and it ruins his career.  Interesting.

Madusa hits a few second rope dropkicks, sending Parker to the floor.  She dives off of the top rope to the floor, but Parker kind of catches her, which is good, but he basically lays her down and it looks really weak.  Madusa hits a nice German suplex but during the count Dick Slater pulls her leg, allowing Parker to roll over top of her and get the win.

Winner: Col. Robert Parker

Honestly, I would normally hate this match, but it was quick, well done, and did what it needed to do.  Sadly, Slater causing the screwy finish means we’re going to see this again sometime down the road, which is one more time than we need to see it.

We see some replays and Tony pitches us backstage to Lee Marshall.  Marshall brings in the Road Warriors.  Hawk says they’re going to remove the medulla oblongata from Booker T and Sting, so it’s nice to know we’re back to basically just talking about plain out murder in WCW now.  This entire primo is done in front of a chalk board that has the Doomsday cage outlined on it in the back.  There are triangles beside the names of Hogan and Savage, so I’m guessing triangles mean victories in WCW land.

The announcers speculate on the finances of Diamond Dallas Page.  Bobby says that if DDP messes up the Booty Man’s face, Kim won’t want anything to do with him.  Tony pitches Slamboree in May as we go to a commercial for the event, letting us know that we’re getting the Lethal Lottery.

Match #4: I Quit Match: Diamond Dallas Page VS The Booty Man w/ The Booty Babe

ddpbrody_zpsacbc1edaNow THIS is the DDP run that I remember from around this time.  DDP comes out with no ring jacket, no glitz or glamour…just a pair of rough looking tights with rips and holes in them.

Man, Booty Man is the biggest tool in this company.  The stupid dancing…the ripped gear…ugh…WTF 96 Shane?

If DDP loses this match, he has to quit wrestling.  If he wins, he gets his money and Kimberly back.

DDP is looking rough in this match.  Scraggly beard, worse hair than normal…he looks like he’s been living in a dumpster for a while.  Good job at selling this whole deal.  I must have seen most of this play out on Saturday Night, though…I remember this being a BIG deal, but I haven’t seen any of this play out on Nitro.

Not much happens in the early parts of this match.  A lot of punches back and forth, then Booty Man puts DDP in an arm hold and stomps the arm.  DDP Irish whips him but Booty Man grabs the ropes, dances to the corner and shakes his ass.  DDP tries to attack and Booty Man sends him outside.  As DDP tries to climb back into the ring, he’s arguing with Nick Patrick, who shoves him off of the ring apron and back down to the floor.  DDP decides to leave, despite the fact that if he loses, he has to leave wrestling, but Booty Man goes up the ramp and brings him back.  That’s dumb, though, because if Booty Man has DDP as a thorn in his side, if DDP takes the low road out, he has to leave…problem solved.

Booty Man slams DDP’s head into the turnbuckles, causing DDP to bump out of the ring…then into the ring post, then over the guardrail.

As DDP is dealing with all of this, Kimberly comes out in a ballerina costume in the Booty Man’s colors.  Kim, as always, is looking amazing.

“What’s she wearing?  A feather duster?” – Bobby Heenan

vlcsnap-2014-07-17-17h36m38s10_zpsffbd0635Booty Man brings DDP back into the ring, but DDP grabs a side healock that Booty Man gets out of.  They criss-cross the ropes and DDP grabs the top rope and dances like Booty Man did earlier, but to a chorus of boos.  They then do this spot twice where DDP drops to the ground and Booty Man either falls on him or dives over top of him.  Both times it worked out awkwardly.  DDP takes control out of this and Kimberly tries to climb up on the ring apron but DDP gives her some lip.  He hits a nice back suplex but doesn’t go for the cover immediately so he only gets a 2 count.  DDP grabs a side headlock again on the ground and the referee drops Booty Man’s arm twice, the third time the crowd brings Booty Man back into the match.  DDP keeps the headlock on, though, using the ropes a few times for leverage.

Kim keeps looking at the camera and saying stupid things.  “Oh my God, he’s so cute.”  “I don’t want him to get hurt, I want him to be my boyfriend.”

Kim gets up on the apron and DDP kisses her.  Kim is shocked, slapping DDP, and allowing Booty Man a moment to hit the High Knee for the win.

Winner: The Booty Man

After the match, Booty Man grabs Kim and kisses her, making Kim swoon.  DDP is irate, trying to get out of the ring to the lovely couple, but is being held down by Nick Patrick while Doug Dillinger comes out to escort Page to the back.

We go to the back with Mean Gene, Lex Luger and Jimmy Hart.  Gene tells us that Hart is the one that pulled Lex Luger out of the Chicago Street Fight and put him in the Loch Ness spot in the Doomsday match.  Jimmy Hart says that tonight is the last night he will walk Luger to the ring.  He hands Luger his Lex Luger jacket so that Lex can put it into this trophy case.  He runs out crying and Mean Gene yells “blow it out your…” before he’s cut off.

Luger says that this is the hardest part of his wrestling career as he has to leave his Tag Team Partner in a Chicago Street Fight without Lex Luger, FROM CHICAGO!  Then, tonight, he’ll have to go into the cage whether he wants to or not.

We go from there to our next match.

Match #5: Loch Ness VS The Giant w/ Jimmy Hart

dungeon_of_doom_loch_ness_vs_the_giant_wcw_uncensored_96_fXBc9SpK.sizedLoch Ness comes out to what will later this year become Rey Mysterio, Jr’s music.  Seems like he’s the second person to use that music since this started.  Gonna have to go back through my archives and find out if I’m right with that one.

This match should be freaking terrible.  Giant is still green as all get out.  Loch Ness is terrible and can’t move.  Also, the winner of this match gets a title shot against Ric Flair tomorrow night on Nitro!

Giant and Loch Ness bash each other into the corner for a while before The Giant runs at Loch Ness with a diving elbow into the corner.  Loch Ness moves and Giant flies over the top rope in a pretty nasty spill!  It’s crazy to believe how athletic Giant is.  Giant comes back into the ring and Loch Ness hits the elbow drop.  He goes for a second one but Giant moves.  Giant gets Loch Ness down, hits a leg drop, and puts a mercy killing to the match in quick order.

Winner: The Giant – new #1 contender to the WCW World Heavyweight Championship

Giant says that the leg drop was for Hogan and that tomorrow he’s coming for Flair.

We get a quick replay and then they take us to Lee Marshall.  Marshall is still in front of that diagram of the Doomsday cage.  Marshall brings in Sting and Booker T.  He asks Sting about this partnership but Booker T starts talking first.  He says that he’s doing it to go after the Road Warriors.  After they go down 110th Street, it’s a Harlem Street Fight and it’s on like neckbone.  Sting fires Booker T up, saying that he wants him mean and angry.  We leave this and go to our street fight.

Match #6: Chicago Street Fight: The Road Warriors VS Sting (WCW Tag Team Champion) & Booker T

The Road Warriors jump the babyfaces during their entrances.  They end up in the ring with Booker squaring off with Hawk and Sting taking it to Animal.  Sting goes for a Stinger Splash but gets a boot to the face for his trouble.  He and Animal say in the ring while Booker & Hawk take it to the floor.

Animal goes for a splash but Sting moves, but Hawk comes in and cuts Sting off before he can capitalize.  In comes Booker T and hits his axe kick on Animal as the four trade opponents and places.

This one is going to be hard to follow since it’s a tag match in name only.  All four men are going at all times.

Sting gets crotched on the ringpost by Animal.  Booker T piledrives Hawk on the outside and then hits a big superkick and follows it by a jumping side kick.  In the ring, Sting gets his facebuster bulldog but in comes Hawk to cut him off as the opponents trade out again.

Booker is getting the shine, here, honestly.  He’s hitting the big moves and Sting is taking most of the beatings.

Up the entrance ramp, Hawk hits a dropkick to Sting.  That’s on the concrete floor, though, so I’m not too sure how smart that was.  Back in the ring, Animal hits a dropkick to Booker as well.  Partners trade again as Sting heads to the back and gets a chair.  He takes out Animal with it then makes it to the ring and hits Hawk with it as well.  Booker holds Hawk up and Sting hits an unprotected chair shot to Hawk.  Animal comes in, grabs the chair and starts hitting fools with it.  Booker gets a big spin wheel kick and Sting piledrives Hawk, who no-sells it and then powerbombs Sting.

On the outside, Animal chokes Booker T with a cable and Hawk puts a headlock and then an armlock on Sting in the middle of the ring.

Sting goes for the Stinger Splash again but Hawk moves and Sting eats turnbuckle.  The Warriors go for the Doomsday Device but Booker T knocks Animal off of the top rope.  Booker goes up top for a big diving knee for a two count before Hawk gets to the ropes.  Sting and Animal collide in mid ring, dazing both, but Sting falls dazed and headbutts Animal in the junk.  I forgot Sting had that move, but now that I’ve seen it again, I remember I always liked it.

Booker goes to try to do his Spinaroonie up but Animal gets in his way and stops it.  Sting goes up top for a big splash but Animal moves.  Hawk goes to the top but Booker T dropkicks him in midair.

Sting suplexes Hawk and crotches him on the top rope then grabs the leg and shakes him up and down.  Booker suplexes Animal in the ring.  Booker goes for the side kick but Animal moves and Booker crotches himself on the top, so Animal gives him the up and down shake.  Hawk goes up top and hits a diving clothesline to Booker T but he goes down as well and can’t capitalize on it.

Sting goes for a diving splash but Animal gets up and powerslams him out of it.  Sting gets the shoulder up at the very last second, resulting in a 2 count.  Booker goes for a pin on the outside while Sting and Animal hit each other with a double clothesline in the ring.  As Animal and Sting brawl outside, Booker hits his axe kick, Spinaroonie and then the side kick.  Animal tries to clothesline Sting against the ring post but Sting moves and Animal clotheslines the post before being clobbered by Sting and a steel chair.  Hawk tries to take the chair from Sting, leaving Booker to dive over the top to try to get Hawk, but he takes a chair to the gut for his efforts.  Sting heads to the back again, looking for something.  Sting makes his way back to the ring with a pair of brooms.  He hits Animal with both before heading into the ring and beating Hawk with them as well.  Animal takes the brooms from Sting, clotheslines him with them and then hits Booker with the broom handles.  Animal breaks the broom in half and chokes Sting with the shortened handle before Booker T breaks it up.  Booker Grabs the handle from the ref and chokes Animal with it.

Booker T heads outside, waves his hands in disgust, and heads to the back, seemingly leaving Sting to fend off the Road Warriors by himself.  The cameras follow Booker and Animal backstage where they pass Lex Luger.  Luger is primping in the mirror, content to not enter it, before Animal runs into Luger and knocks him into the trash can.  Luger attacks Animal, as does Stevie Ray.  They beat down Animal and tape him around a post, taking him out of the match.

Sting backs Hawk up against the guardrail and goes for the Stinger Splash but Animal moves and Sting hits the steel hard.  Booker T comes back out and runs Hawk into the steel steps hard before bringing him into the ring and slamming him.  He goes for the Harlem Hangover but Hawk moves out of the way.  Out comes Stevie Ray with a chair, slamming it into Hawk hard.  Booker goes for the pin and the win.

Winners: Sting & Booker T

The moment the match is over we see Animal, who is actually handcuffed, screaming.  Stevie Ray takes a chair to him and tells the camera “We want our titles back, sucka!”

This match, honestly, went on too long.  There was so much going on that it was almost too much.  I think it could have gotten away with being about five minutes shorter.  This match, though, did live up to the Uncensored name.  It was a hard hitting match where anything was allowed and they did a good job building up the craziness…especially with that finish.

The announcers wonder how they’re going to follow that and then start putting over the Doomsday Cage.  Bobby says all the thieves and lowlifes are going to be in that cage, trying to take out Hulkamania.  Tony says that Hogan and Savage start at the top and go gauntlet style through the cages.  They have to beat the men in the first cage before they can advance to the second one, so on and so forth.  Hogan and Savage can be beaten at any time.  With that, Tony sends us to Michael Buffer.

Match #7: Doomsday Cage Match: The Mega Force (Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage) VS The Alliance to End Hulkamania: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (WCW Champion) w/ Woman & Ms. Elizabeth, “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson, “Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan, “Total Package” Lex Luger w/ Jimmy Hart, Meng, The Barbarian, Z-Gangsta, The Ultimate Solution

Meng is announced as being from “some unknown part of the planet.”  I liked that.

The announcers ask where Brian Pillman is.  Guess Pillman decided he wasn’t having any part of this.  It’s also interesting to see that everyone is in gear except for Arn Anderson, who is in sweats, obviously giving zero &$*#s about this match.  Hogan and Savage are announced constantly as the Mega Force.  I guess Vince got sue happy over the whole Mega Powers thing.  Gonna have to read up on my Meltzer newsletters to see if he acknowledges that at all.

So, here’s the breakdown of this match.  This cage is 3 stories tall.  The top story is the size of the ring and features Arn Anderson and Ric Flair.  Right below them is the second story, and the cage is cut in half.  In one side, the Faces of Fear.  In the other side, Sullivan and Luger.  The bottom section contains the ring and SHOULD contain Z-Gangsta and Ultimate Solution, but at the start of the match, it’s empty.

wcw-uncensored-doomsday-cage

There’s a part of me that wants to look at this match and say it’s the stereotypical WCW match…but then again, we have things like the Elimination Chamber, which honestly isn’t MUCH different than this match.

The booking of this match is odd…why is Flair the first one to be conquered?  I would think that the final cage should be Flair and Sullivan, since they’re the masterminds of this.  Guess Hogan wanted to show Flair that he felt that all of the other people in the match were more important…especially the two main guys whose biggest claims to fame to date are being in crappy movies.

There’s very little wrestling in this match.  It’s just beating each other and putting them into the cage or the steel beam running through the center of the cage.  At one point, both Arn and Flair get Hogan and Savage in the Figure 4, but both babyfaces reverse.  Flair tries to drop something down to the cage below him, but it looks like Sullivan drops it and it just goes through the bottom of the cage.  It shows all four men in the second story looking down as if searching for it.

Hogan and Savage toss powder into the faces of Arn and Flair and escape to the second story through the trap door.  I didn’t realize that they could just leave…I thought they had to actually beat the people in each cage.  Guess not.  When Hogan and Savage get to the second story, they arrive in the Meng and Barbarian cage, but Luger opens the door between the two and he and Sullivan attack the babyfaces.  Jimmy Hart runs up to the second level and gives Sullivan whatever Flair passed to him.  Hogan also apparently has a chain and starts beating the heels down with it.  Hogan takes the chain and uses it to lock the door between the two cages, locking away the Faces of Fear from he and Savage.

“I can hear that woman screaming from here.” – Dusty Rhodes.

“That’s Jimmy Hart.” – Tony Schiavone.

Hogan and Sullivan battle outside of the second cage and onto the scaffolding that runs up the sides of the cage.  They tease Hogan knocking Sullivan off of the scaffolding and down to the floor, but Hogan and Sullivan eventually battle to the floor.  Luger and Savage follow and they end up battling out to the regular ring in the center of the area.

Soooo, what’s the point of the bottom cage with the ring in it?  There’s no one in it.  Z-Gangsta, Brian Pillman or Ultimate Solution never showed up.  Wow…this match…

Hogan and Sullivan brawl in the regular ring while Luger and Savage brawl up at the Doomsday cage and scaffolding.    Hogan takes Sullivan up to the Doomsday cage and rams his head into it before attacking Luger and cleaning him off of Savage.  Savage takes it to Sullivan now.  They had shown the Faces of Fear coming down from the cage but apparently they just bounced backstage…same with the Horsemen.

Hogan makes it to the ring with Luger while Sullivan starts dismantling the scaffolding.  He simply drops the wood he’s working with and starts to run to the ring, though.  Savage picks up the wood and runs to ringside with it, hitting Sullivan with it.  Sullivan runs Savage into the ring steps, though, and joins Luger in the beatdown of Hogan.

There’s really no psychology to this match.  One guy will be beaten down then come back, then get cut off, then come back…

Hogan and Luger start trading off chair shots on the floor while Sullivan crotches Savage on the guard rail and clotheslines him off.

It’s funny how a 10 man match has degenerated into just a 4 man match.  Of course, as I type that, out comes Jimmy Hart with Z-Gangsta and Ultimate Solution.  It’s interesting to note that these two guys have the distinction of both being in Batman movies.

The newcomers take Hogan and Savage up to the Doomsday Cage and throw them into the bottom section with the ring.  I’d love to know the paydays of these two versus everyone else in the match.

I’d hate to watch this live in the arena.  It looks like it’s lit terribly and there are times when it’s even hard to see on TV, so I can imagine that the guy sitting in the last row in the arena is getting pissed at not being able to see what’s going on THROUGH a cage, badly lit, at the entrance.

It’s more garbage brawling in this ring but intermittently we have Sullivan poking Savage with a steel pole from the outside.  Hogan finally faces off with Zeus, though, who chokes him and takes him to the mat.  Savage goes off the top but Ultimate Solution grabs him and slams him.  In come Arn Anderson (in ring gear now) and Ric Flair.

You know, it’s hard to believe this company is two months away from revolutionizing the wrestling world and changing the business forever.

Booty Man gets Hogan and Savage some powder and frying pans.  The Megan Powers start beating everyone with these pans, denting them and showing us all that they’re fake as all hell.  In comes Luger for the save, attacking Hogan and Savage.

“Luger obviously the fresh man…he hasn’t been hit with a frying pan!” – Tony Schiavone.

Luger pulls on a glove, which the announcers speculate is loaded, and goes to hit Savage.  Savage moves, Luger takes a beat and punches Flair.  Hogan takes the moment to try to escape, but Savage covers Flair, gets the win, and the two of them literally hightail it out of the arena.  No celebrating, no playing to the crowd…they run away.  The announcers speculate as to whether Luger knew that he was going to hit Flair or not.  They state that he saw Savage duck but still followed through with the punch.  I had to go back and watch it again, but that’s exactly what it seems like happened.  Lex gets out of the ring first, leaving Anderson with his arms wide and wondering what the hell.

So, there we have it, folks…Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage have beaten 8 men in one night.  Those 8 men include the top two heels, one of which is the World Champion.  They include Arn Anderson, The Faces of Fear, Lex Luger (a main eventer and double champion at the moment) and two giants.  They literally destroyed everyone in the company, basically.

Heenan says he’s going to go talk to the guys in the back right now and say let’s start tomorrow, let’s get together and do something to end this virus that is Hulkamania.  He throws off his headset and storms to the back as Tony takes us off the air.

Uncensored has the reputation of being the worst show of the year in WCW.  There are definitely things I can point to in this show that has made it that thus far.  This cage match at the end was an atrocious clustermuck.  There’s no two ways about it…it just was.  It made no sense.  It didn’t have many prescribed rules and it broke the ones that it did have. It put two nobodies over most of the established WCW locker room and it let Hogan and Savage prove that no 8 men in this company can defeat them.  It was a giant Hulkamania jerkoff session and the show suffered for it.  I’m done with this Hogan garbage.  I seem to remember him being off the air during the initial Invasion, so I’m hoping he takes a hike here very soon and stops showing up on Nitro.

I just realized that the “poster” that WWE Network has for this event has Hogan and Savage in the center with the 8 men that are wrestling them as floating heads above them.  Ultimate Solution’s “floating head” is the Bane mask from Batman & Robin!  Wow…

Uncensored Logo

The Chicago Street Fight was very hard hitting, but it was a mess as well and went on a few minutes too long.  The DDP VS Booty Man match was rough…but I’m putting that all on Booty Man.  I’m anxious for DDP to come back in a few months, though, and start his major rise to the top.  I love me some DDP and we’re going to start getting into the time when I really started liking him as we move through 1996.  Regal VS Finlay was a pretty good match.  Loch Ness and Giant was bad, but thankfully it was quick, as was Madusa and Parker.

Was it the weakest show thus far…probably.  Was it terrible?  There were parts of it that were pretty bad, but the overall show, no, not really.  I’m just hoping this FINALLY puts the end to the Hogan / Dungeon stuff as I’m so tired of it.  Tomorrow on Nitro we’re getting Flair VS Giant for the title and I remember distinctly how that match works out, so that’ll be interesting to see where we go from there.

Until next time, wrestling fans!

Shane

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